98 reasons I swiped left on Tinder. Or, why I am single.

Further to my ‘How not to do Tinder‘ post, I felt like documenting the reasons I swiped left (no) on Tinder, in response to 98 of 100 people’s profiles. I thought, maybe I’ll learn something? I guess it confirms that I’m super judgmental. I’m working on that… In the meantime, enjoy…

Surprisingly, no drugged tiger pics, dead fish or guns in this batch. Far too many trilby hats though.

1. It looks like you put a ‘90s painting’ filter on your picture.

2. It’s a picture of you DJ-ing.

3. You are wearing a lilac shirt and waistcoat.

4. There’s a child in the photo. It might be yours.*

5. Two children in the photo. Might be yours.

6. You are on a mountain in snow gear and I can’t see your face.

7. The photo is so close up it’s weird.

8. It’s a picture of you drinking a beer.

9. This one I actually went to have a look at your other pictures. But it looked like you were shouting in all of them so no.

10. It’s a picture of you DJ-ing.

11. Just not attractive to me.

12. You are far away and wearing sunglasses so I can’t see your face.

13. This one I actually went to have a look at your other pictures. But you were wearing a trilby hat in the second one so no.

14. Just not attractive to me.

15. You are far away and wearing sunglasses so I can’t see your face.

16. It’s a picture of you DJ-ing.

17. Just not attractive to me.

18. I swiped right! I could see his (nice) face in his first photo and his other photos didn’t make him look like a terrible person!

19. There’s a child in the photo. It might be yours.

20. Just not attractive to me.

21. Just not attractive to me.

22. You have a pug dog in your photo. It’s cruel to have a pug that was intentionally bred because they can’t breathe properly.

23. This one I actually went to have a look at your other pictures as you had sunglasses on in the first one but looked potentially hot. But in the second one you are pulling a ‘stupid/hilarious’ (not hilarious) face, I have no idea what you look like normally, so no.

24. Just not attractive to me.

25. There are three people in the photo and I can’t be bothered to try and figure out which one is you. You’re unlikely to be the hot one anyway.

26. I swiped right! I could see his (nice) face in his first photo and his other photos didn’t make him look like a terrible person!

27. Just not attractive to me.

28. Just not attractive to me.

29. Just not attractive to me.

30. The photo is so close up it’s weird.

31. Just not attractive to me.

32. It’s a picture of you drinking a beer.

33. Just not attractive to me.

34. It’s a picture of you at a festival with face paint/glitter on and a blue fluffy jacket trying to look all, ‘festival’. Ugh.

35. It’s a cartoon of a robot.

36. This one I actually went to have a look at your other pictures but it’s you at big sporting events which looks boring to me.

37. You are so far away I can’t see your face.

38. It’s a picture of two men with no shirt on. Just no.

39. Just not attractive to me.

40. This one I went to have a look at your other pictures but in one you had an awful white ‘beanie’ hat on and in the other one you had a wrestling type vest on, so no.

41. Just not attractive to me.

42. Just not attractive to me.

43. Just not attractive to me.

44. It is a picture of a dinner plate and wine glass.

45. You are wearing (bad) sunglasses and drinking a beer.

46. Just not attractive to me.

47. Just not attractive to me.

48. It is a picture of you skydiving, in sunglasses, and you’re puling a stupid face.

49. You are lifting up your arm to show off your unimpressive tattoo.

50. There are two people in the photo and I can’t be bothered to try and figure out which one is you. You’re unlikely to be the hot one anyway.

51. Just not attractive to me. Also, sunglasses.

52. You are wearing nothing but tiny swimming trunks.

53. Just not attractive to me.

54. Just not attractive to me.

55. Just not attractive to me.

56. There are two people in the photo and neither are attractive to me. Also the photo is very blurry.

57. Just not attractive to me.

58. Just not attractive to me.

59. Just not attractive to me.

60. The photo is so close up it’s weird.

61. Just not attractive to me.

62. Despite sunglasses, since they were cool sunglasses, I went to look at this guy’s other photos. But he had sunglasses and a ‘stupid’ facial expression in his second photo too, and the third and fourth photos were of some terrible artwork.

63. It’s a photo of you drinking a whisky.

64. Just not attractive to me.

65. Just not attractive to me.

66. Too far away, can’t see your face.

67. Just not attractive to me.

68. The photo is so close up it’s weird.

69. Just not attractive to me.

70. You have no shirt on.

71. You have no shirt on.

72. This guy’s photos were fine but he said this in his description: “People who live within their means suffer from lack of imagination”. So, no.

73. Just not attractive to me.

74. Just not attractive to me. Also, sunglasses.

75. Just not attractive to me.

76. Just not attractive to me.

77. Just not attractive to me mainly due to terrible shirt.

78. Just not attractive to me.

79. Just not attractive to me.

80. Just not attractive to me.

81. You have no shirt on and it’s such a closeup your head isn’t even in the photo.

82. You are wearing a trilby hat.

83. Just not attractive to me.

84. Just not attractive to me.

85. Trilby.

86. Skydiving. Can’t see face.

87. The photo looks like it was actually taken in the 80s. Not in a good way. As in, he’s uploaded a very old photo of himself.

88. This guy I looked at his other photos but in addition to a trilby hat he has “drinking and dancing” in his description.

89. Just not attractive to me.

90. Just not attractive to me. Also, sunglasses.

91. No shirt.

92. Just not attractive to me.

93. Just not attractive to me.

94. Just not attractive to me due to having a religious tattoo.

95. No photo.

96. Just not attractive to me.

97. This guy looked OK but his description was creepy: “Loves photography. Always looking for new beautiful females to pose and inspire me”. Eeew. Get in the sea.

98. Just not attractive to me.

99. It’s a picture of you DJ-ing.

100. Just not attractive to me.

So there you have it. This probably says more about me than it does about people on Tinder…

*I realise this is me being harsh and judgmental and I should be more accepting etc. but, I’m also being honest about what I’m looking for, and right now, I’d rather date people with no kids, for personal reasons. Also, this is Tinder. I’m less judgmental when I meet people offline!

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